Paris Hilton covered in excrement

Police in France are investigating an act of vandalism on the 5 star Hilton Hotel, located in the center of Paris. Animal rights protesters, in the mistaken believe that the hotel was hosting a fashion show, involving fur coats, dumped manure in the foyer of the hotel. Manager Jean Luc Bastardi explains "I got a call from my assistant Jean Paul Wankerdi late last night informing me that excrement had been dumped in the reception area. I said 'What, a load of crap?' and he said 'no, it is true'. Anyway it turns out they had the wrong hotel - they should have dumped it at the Hyatt - next door."In an unconnected story, socialite, model, dancer, actress, heiress, belly dancer, former milk monitor and junkie, Paris Hilton was attacked by a fan yesterday. As she was leaving the gymn an admirer threw a dog turd at her - which hit her right in the middle of her face. "Does mean that people think I am shit?" cried the star.A spokesman for all of us said "Yes, I am afraid it does."